Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
