I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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