She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Randomize
