and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Slut skills are useful in every country.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
