I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
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