drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
