hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Randomize
