I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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