i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize