Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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