that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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