making cat noises will not fix the situation.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Randomize
