There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
