plz talk dirty to me
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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