i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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