some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
