some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
