Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
