My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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