If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i already hear my dad disowning me
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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