She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
