Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
love makes seman taste better
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Randomize
