i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
where are my eyebrows?
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
