Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
