I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
