Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
