the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
