We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
