I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
