How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Randomize