Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
