someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
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