im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
