yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
