Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
She told me I should be a condom model.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
