She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
