god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
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