but the lizard people decide everything anyway
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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