it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Randomize