Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
