it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
