I heard we made out
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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