I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
