Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
