ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
