Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
