In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
