He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
