If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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