We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Randomize