he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
