Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
