the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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