Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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