Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
