it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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