But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Randomize