so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize