forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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