he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
