I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
