what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Just pee around me
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
