she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Green mimosas i think yes
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
