just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
sex in a hospital.. check
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
